They're here. They're unsheared. Get used to it.
While they may not be adept at things like math or dressing themselves, this group of
millions hundreds from the American Mustache Institute marched on DC to have their voices heard. Included in their list of demands:
•Applaud any Mustached American as they walk past me on the street.
•Castigate clean shaven mortals and remind them that their bare-lipped appearance is a sign of weakness and communism.
•Distrust clean-shaven officers of the law, and if approached by a mustache-free constable, dial 911 and proceed to a nearby police station, where a squadron of heavily mustached officers will greet me with open arms.
•Never forget that every time a mustache is shaved an angel in heaven dies and falls to earth.
Also from the mustache chronicles: Ron Swanson cage match; employable stache; Mustache Rides Again; Jason Schwartzman's mustache for the New Yorker